Before nightmare

I couldn't sleep,2.22 in the morning :(
My mind is just non-stop thinking and thinking and thinking,about bit and bit of little things.

I am a little girl,who is keep finding herself.
Who is she???
What does she want in her life?

She has grown up now,she is not the little girl who living in a small town anymore.
She can't do anything she wants to,she needs to think twice before action.
She feels like life is getting harder.

She knows she has to earn money on her own,to live and not depending on family.
She knows she has to work harder,if she wants a better life.
She exactly knows there is no free meal in the world,never ever.

Although she is thousands unwilling to work at the place,but she knows she got to do so.
Because that is the choice of no choice.

She just can't do anything she want now,she has to hold back so much emotion and the urge to do somethings,its a big lesson.It's hard! :( :( :(

Three more days until December,the super duper busy month of the year.The scarily busy time for restaurant!It's xmas time!OMG OMG God save me!!!I'm gonna be masculine super woman! :(

When can I be settling down???Nobody knows,even myself...All about choices,life is just about choices....

At least,there is a good news to announce,I've got my visa already!!!It last two years...hopefully it will be useful for me.

Anyway,there is another good news,I will be home on 18th Jan - 22nd Feb...Can't wait!!!But need to wait for this shit over,it's suffering!!!I just can't wait to do so many things when I'm home,can't wait you know???can't wait!!!

Anyway,,,,,,,,,hopefully after this very soon coming December,I am still alive,completely...haha!

Good night <3